August 19th
If you live with ADHD, you’ve probably been told more times than you can count that you’re “messy,” “scattered,” or “not living up to your potential.” And while those labels sting, here’s the twist: many ADHDers aren’t sloppy at all—we’re perfectionists.
That might sound strange, but perfectionism and ADHD are deeply connected. And if you’ve ever procrastinated until the last second, avoided a project you actually cared about, or re-edited something until you felt completely drained, you know exactly what I mean.
Why ADHDers Struggle with Perfectionism
Perfectionism isn’t about wanting excellence—it’s about fear.
- Fear of judgment. “If I mess this up, everyone will know I’m not capable.”
- Fear of failure. “If it’s not perfect, I shouldn’t even try.”
- **Fear that even my best won’t be good enough.”
For ADHDers, these fears are amplified by the way our brains work:
- Time-blindness makes starting difficult, so we wait for the “perfect” moment.
- Working memory challenges make it harder to keep track of all the details, so we feel we must overcompensate.
- Years of negative feedback (“lazy,” “unfocused,” “inconsistent”) push us into setting impossible standards to prove ourselves.
The result? A cycle of procrastination, avoidance, burnout… and shame.
How Perfectionism Shows Up
For many of my ADHD clients—and in my own life—perfectionism looks like:
- Delaying starting until everything feels “just right.”
- Over-preparing and researching endlessly, but never moving forward.
- Avoiding tasks that matter most because failing would hurt too much.
- Spending hours rewriting, re-editing, or over-explaining just to get it “right.”
It’s exhausting. And it keeps us from experiencing momentum, joy, and growth.
Reframing Perfectionism: From Fear to Progress
Letting go of perfectionism doesn’t mean lowering your standards—it means changing the way you measure success.
âś… Success can be done, not perfect.
âś… Progress can be messy and still count.
âś… Your value is not tied to flawless performance.
A powerful reframe is to ask yourself:
👉 “What’s the smallest, simplest version of this task that still works?”
That shift moves us from fear into action. Because what we often call a “small win” isn’t small at all—it’s a building block. And when you stack enough of them, you create something big and meaningful.
Perfectionism thrives in fear. Progress thrives in permission.
As ADHDers, we’ve spent too much of our lives trying to measure up to other people’s rulers. It’s time to rewrite the rules of “good enough.”
✨ You are not behind.
✨ You are not broken.
✨ You are already enough.
Let’s trade perfection for progress—together.